I had some of the best days of my life, in the arms of somebody I will probably never see again.
On the beaches of an island of Thailand, under the most beautiful fucking stars you’ll ever see, I fell in love with the romantic impossibility of escaping reality together.
“You see that boat over there?” he asked.
“Where?”
“Right there, just by the edge of the lagoon”
“oh yes, what about it?”
“Let’s untie it, and float away, and see where we end up, then stay there.”
I laughed.
“I have a fiver in my pocket, we’ll be okay, we’ll make it”
Neither of us moved, for a moment taken with the notion of drifting into the unknown, holding each other and escaping everything else.
You’d think I’d be sad, that he lives too far away, that it’s fairly unlikely I’ll meet him again. But I’m not. Regardless, we had those perfect moments, and those moments showed me that I don’t need to settle for anything but what I truly want. So I got home, and I cut the feeble ties between me and a few guys here. No, not because I genuinely believe we can make this work, but because falling for him showed that I CAN feel again. I haven’t truly felt for a guy since J and I broke up last year, until now, and now I know it can happen again.
My faith has been restored, and I am so, so happy.
