Comparisons

You know, there are some days where I look in the mirror and I don't want to die.

I put on an outfit I like, try my hair differently then change it back, bit of make up on. Try out a smile in the mirror, try a pout, and feel... not happy, but I don't completely hate myself.

Yet the second I step out the door, or log onto fucking FACEBOOK, or get talking to somebody on the phone, I feel an overwhelming SHAME at having not hated myself. Does that make sense? Like the instant I see other people, the feelings of ugliness and self hatred and depression all come flooding back.

It just got me thinking, why? WHY does society teach us to care what other people think? It's all perception; in the eye of the beholder as they say. So what one person thinks is completely different to another. It's like ice cream; one flavour, a million different opinions of it. So why do we seem to give a shit what other people think?

The worst part is, half of the time it's not what people think of me, it's what I think they think of me. When I have to stand next to my gorgeous, sexy, beautiful friends I just feel like the ugly duckling, like I don't deserve a place. And yet logically, when I think about it, somewhere somebody does probably think that I am.. I dunno, pretty. 

And, although I say it's society, I blame society... we comprise society. We are the ones who assume we are being compared to everyone else, and so compare everyone else in return, making these ridiculous comparisons somehow acceptable.

There is only one YOU. Fucking cheesie as it sounds, it's true. We are all different, and there will be a million people on this planet who think that WE are beautiful.

Quit fucking comparing everyone, including yourself, and just... relax. Have a cup of tea, try that new hair style, and take a photo. No, don't care about its facebook likes, don't get all competitive with your friends. Just, let it be.