Heaviness.
So the very friend I was defending, JB, that caused me to have an argument with S has thrown it all back in my face and said that, without justification, she doesn’t wish to be friends anymore.
I can’t even explain how crushed I feel.
I trusted the both of them above anybody else for around 2 years, JB longer, and for them to leave me after they promised they wouldn’t breaks my heart. I’m not bitter, or angry, or trying to turn people against them. I’m just hurt, miserable, there’s an aching in my chest that feels like somebody’s holding my heart and squeezing the life out of it.
Which in a way, metaphorically, they are.
I just feel miserable at the moment. They betrayed me. After everything I tried to do, everything I tried to help each of them with. They’ve seen me at my worst, helped me achieve my best.
I can’t even write this properly, my hands are shaking too bad.
Everything seems to be grey. They left me. They fucking LEFT ME.
Promises mean nothing.
Everyone leaves in the end.
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